Blog Tour: A Blue So Dark - Holly Schindler. A Character Interview with Aura & Giveaway.

Today, Aura is here from A Blue So Dark answering a few questions. She is here courtesy of the Teen Book Scene blog tour for Holly Schindler's new release Playing Hurt. You can follow along with the tour here, or click on the banner and it will take you to the tour details.

Welcome, Aura! Thank you for coming!

How would you describe your relationship with your mom to those who don’t know you?

My mom? Raving madwoman. And I don’t mean that the way most kids do—ever notice that? How they say, “She’s nuts,” just because they’ve been butting heads with their moms? Or, “She’s driving me nuts.” People say it, that word, toss it around like it doesn’t matter. My mom really is—schizo, you know. She’s a lot more than that—a painter. A teacher. Lately, though? As she drifts farther and farther from me, the more everything else about her falls away, and the one thing that remains is the schizo. It’s eating her alive…

Does you mother’s condition change the relationships you have with others in general?

I’m protective of her. I have to be. I promised, you know? No meds—that’s what I said. Because he made her take them. Dad, I mean. King of Starting Over, sticking your past life in a garbage can, cementing the lid shut and rolling it off a cliff. Before he left, he was always telling Mom, “I love you even though…” And I don’t want Mom to think I love her despite the illness. I just want her to think I love her. Period. Love with Mom means I need to protect her. From anyone like dad, who might shove the meds right down her throat.

What are some of your favorite things to do?

Favorite things…The darker Mom gets, the more she needs me, the more I wish I had a whole slew of favorite things. Normal things. Boyfriends and waking up late on a Saturday morning and taking guitar lessons. I want to struggle with parallel parking and fight with Mom about curfew. Even that—those normal fights, you know? About the length of my skirts and whether or not I’m eating enough vegetables—I want that so much, those little fights actually seem like my favorite things. Dumb normal fights. I ache for them, the way I figure other girls in my class ache for concert tickets or kisses from their crushes.

Do you have any outlets for when things get too stressful? Is there anything that you can focus on to give yourself some time away?

Had drawing, had writing. Never was all that great at keeping a journal—not some straight, day-to-day log of events, blah, blah, blah. But I use poetry to write about where my heart has been, during the course of a day. Or I did, anyway. Because the older I get, the more I hide Mom, carry Mom, protect Mom, the more convinced I am that art is killing us, Mom and me. Taking our brains and twisting our thoughts until the world around us is completely unrecognizable. I’m convinced art leads to crazy, you know. I’m sure of it. So drawing? Poetry? They’re pretty much off-limits. Only, I’m not really all that sure who I am without them.

Is there anything you would say to those who also have someone in their family who is schizophrenic? Any wisdom that you wish you had been given?

I wish I’d known how Nell, my grandmother, struggled. How she fought to find the right thing—how she maybe never did find the right thing, where my mother was concerned. If I’d known all along how hard she struggled, how much she lost, as she tried to take care of my mother, I might not have beaten myself up quite so brutally, you know? I’d have even reached out to Nell, right from the beginning, rather than pretended we were never related at all…

Thank you so much for being here, Aura, and thank you for answering all of my questions!


Giveaway

Holly Schindler has graciously provided Lost For Words with a signed copy of her book A Blue So Dark for giveaway. 
Thank you Holly!
This giveaway is open to US/Canada residents only. (Sorry to those of you who are international!)
The giveaway will end March 18, 2011.
Giveaway has ENDED. Thank you to all of those who participated! 
Please fill out this FORM to enter. Comments, while appreciated, will not be counted as entries. 
Thank you!